My life... as a chicken

Being a chicken isn't always as comfortable as you might walk around and think. There are different issues concerning that of being a chicken. I would like to show you what I mean; therefore, I have compiled a number of reasons why my life as a chicken has caused me some problems. First,

You have a very small beak.
It is very difficult to eat and poke around in the ground for worms when you have a small beak. The amount of grain you are able to carry around with you in your beak is very limited, which in turn means that you can't bring a lot of food with you if you intend to go on a small trip round the chicken farm.

You have no hands.
This has caused me some trouble since I've always wanted to learn the guitar. However, playing guitar is hard - without hands it even harder. Furthermore, the claws are not that hand around a guitar. Yes, I have seen dudes on YouTube playing guitar with their feet, but since I do not have feet - I'm a chicken - that's very difficult.

And lastly,
You have troubles with the ladies.
I'm chicken. I'm a chick. I'm a GIRL! The roosters are all a bunch of dicks, so no fooling around with those guys. And I'm not really a girl. I like girls. I'm not into all that same-sex-shenanigans. I want girls.

So, you see, my problems are completely justified. I will, therefore, no longer be a chicken. I've decided that my next shell will be a rubber duck. One of those yellow fellows. I will write about my experiences in my next blog. Catch you later.